Thursday, May 20, 2010

Dear Friends,

It has felt so strange to think about blogging lately. A few weeks ago, we suffered a great loss for our family. My sister and her husband lost their baby at 25 weeks. One minute the baby was dancing and kicking while her big sister felt mommy's tummy. She found out on a Friday that the baby had passed away and delivered the baby early Monday morning - a baby girl, Olive Stephanie. 2 pounds, 14 inches.

We had a few heart wrenching days at the hospital waiting for the delivery. With close family and friends around my sister and her husband, we spent the time together trying to cope and understand what had happened and what was to come. A lot of healing, a lot of tears, laughter and a lot of love.

How did I cope? Would you believe I grabbed my knitting needles and headed to my local yarn store, Coldwater Collaborative? When they heard the terrible news, they cried with me. They donated some soft creamy cashmere and I was able to knit a burial gown in time for Baby Olive's birth.
I learned a lot that weekend about my sister and her husband. I was moved by the amazing strength and courage that my sister and her husband displayed. They led us through our grief and loss.

I also learned that hospitals that deal with fetal demise and stillbirth have a difficult time clothing these tiny babies. A lot of what is donated to the hospitals is for premature babies, often too big for babies born so small and fragile. Families are in a state of mourning and shock and something for baby to wear in not often something they think about. The nurses were kind enough to point out to me what works - clothes that open in the back or front, and what doesn't work - hats that don't stretch and sleeves that are too narrow to pull the baby's fragile arms through, lace-work that allows little toes to poke through.

With the help of family and friends, we are going to start a program for anyone who would like to knit burial gowns and wraps for hospitals. They also need tiny blankets (about 15 x 15 up to 20 x 20). It is not official yet - but we're thinking of calling the group Olive Branch and we would try to provide free patterns and hopefully yarn. I also would like to talk further with the nurses at Abbott to work out details about what they need for different circumstances. I'll be working on some designs and will post them for free as soon as they are finished.

For now, I'd like to say that I'm sorry for such a long absence. It seemed strange to start posting about everyday life again. A quick story - my blue lupine (which have been blue for the 13 years I've lived in my house) have produced pale pink blooms this year. I know it's simply a genetic variation, but to happen this spring is such a sweet coincidence. Or a miracle.

20 comments:

Suvi said...

I'm so sorry!

livnletlrn said...

I saw you queue some of these items on Rav and am so sorry to hear of the reason. I bet lupines will always hold a special place in your heart as a reminder of Olive. Wishing you all peace.

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you and your family.

I would be very interested in your knitting project for stillborn babies. You know where I am.

Much love.

Harpa Jónsdóttir said...

I'm so very sorry for your loss.

The Olive branch group is a wonderful idea and a sweet way to honour the little ones memory.

Your little burial gown is beautiful. Heart-breaking, but beautiful.

Erica said...

Such a sad loss for everyone involved! The Olive Branch is a wonderful idea and I'll be looking for more information on it as it comes :)

IrishGirlieKnits said...

I am so sorry Rani. Prayers and love to you and your family. I can't imagine. (((hugs)))

And I think the flowers are God's way of telling us it'll be ok.

Unknown said...

Your the best Randi!! Love you! KJ

Neuroknitter said...

Oh Rani! I'm deeply sorry to hear of your tremendous loss. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family.

Olive Branch will be a wonderful memorial to little Olive.

xo

Senja said...

I am so very sorry to hear of your family's loss. Nothing can ever replace that little ones place in your hearts but hopefully your project will give it new meaning for you. Helping others with their grief is always a wonderful way to honor those fleeting little lives. I will think of you and your family often.

marit said...

I am so sorry for your loss! Hugs to you all.

Tiif said...

You are amazing! XOXO

Guinifer said...

So sorry to hear your sad news, your love certainly shows in the lovely gown.

Leslie said...

Oh, I'm so sorry to hear about this loss! How very hard for your sister. The gown you made is just lovely, and the group you're starting sounds like a wonderful one. Hugs to all!

wildtomato said...

I am so sorry that you and your family are dealing with such a deep loss. What a wonderful idea you have for turning a horrible situation into something that can give others comfort.

Anne Marie said...

I am very sorry for the loss and pain your sister and husband and the rest of the family are going thorugh. The burial gown had me all up in tears.

It is so difficult to understand why such sad things happens. How wonderful then that you use the experience and energy to create something as beautiful as a burial gown. Not to mention how nice it will be for other families going through the same as you, to have someone thinking of them and sharing their pain with them through the home made burial blankets and gowns.

PJS said...

Hi Rani,

I had noticed in ravelry that you had knitted that gown, i felt that you would talk about it in your own time if you wanted to. I am so sorry to hear that you have all suffered such a sad loss. Your whole family have our thoughts and prayers, I can't imagine what you have gone through.

pjs

Caffeine Girl said...

Condolences. The loss of a child is always devastating.

Michelle said...

I am so sorry for the loss of this little one. I hope all involved are learning to cope. My thoughts are with all involved.

Hammie Hamster said...

Just stopped by for the second time at your blog, feel very sad to read about this big loss... I like your idea to start making little blankets and cloths for these little ones. I'll return to your blog to find out if I can help!

Gea (the Netherlands/Holland)

Siddis back home said...

SO very, very sorry to read this! I lost my precious baby daugther two days before her due date, she would have been 5 years this spring.... No reason why, she was perfect. She is always with us in our hearts....
Little Olive will always be in your hearts...