To Whom It May Concern:

Dear Maker-of-Convenience-"Food",

I recently purchased your Roast Turkey Dinner for my lunch. I must say, I was very impressed with the picture on the box. It does indeed look like a "Homestyle" meal. The ratio of celery to croutons is what clenched the deal for me. I counted 11 pieces of celery and 12 croutons, which would make my vegetable to carbohydrate ratio about 48%/52%. Not bad.

And while most people don't consider celery an adequate source of anything, I count anything green on my plate to be a viable member of my food pyramid. Pickles included.

So I was sorely disappointed to open my meal and find a lesser version of the pictured meal. I have provided my own picture for your viewing pleasure.

Please note the lack of celery.

Upon further inspection, I found this one piece, clinging to a soggy bread cube. I'm at 4% for my vegetable, which is making my food pyramid look a bit lopsided.

The problem seems obvious:

Someone in your company has a serious celery addiction and has been eating the bits right off your assembly line.

Please do whatever you can to rectify this situation before food pyramids everywhere collapse into non-nutritious piles of goo.

Sincerely,

A very hungry girl who may be getting scurvy.